Five Things I Want:
Love
Garden
Paint a Room
Let Go of Fear
Children
1) Before I even finished reading the question for this blog, I knew love was one of my answers. Love just seems so beautiful. Falling in love must be a sort passage into womanhood. Just as sex is a kind of knowledge that can’t be “un-known”, falling in love can’t be either. Perhaps I’m a naive, but being in love must be the ultimate happiness. All I want in life is happiness and being in love seems to be the most wonderful way to get it.
“Love makes the world go round.” It’s a cliché but it must be true. Love is supposed to be one of the strongest emotions for humans. Emotions are part of our distinction from animals in how intense they can be. Humanity…
2) The next thing I thought of was having a garden. I have always wanted one, and it should be ordered in a chaotic way. I imagine planted vines that swamp walls and create overhangs with all kinds of exotic flowers. (I’m practically hoping for a Garden of Eden.) Naturally, I’m imagining an ideal, but a row of flowers and some grape vines would make me pretty satisfied. A garden must be a great place for a sanctuary and getting in touch with G-d. I’ve recently rejected the idea of religion, but I still have faith in G-d. I’ve noticed that I think about Him much more often when I’m alone and outside. Having a garden would probably really help me find peace when I need it.
As for humanity, a garden represents a sort of bridge between nature and man. Although humanity implies a separation from nature, man still has his roots in the primal instincts. We are all still governed by instincts for survival and reproduction. However, man has found a way to harness and control those two main desires in the form of order and civilization. A garden acts as the same process in that a garden takes some of the best parts of nature and puts them in neat rows. This is not to say that everyone should have a garden, but it may be useful in maintaining a sense of humanity—consolidating man and nature.
3) My desire to paint a room stems from my conception that painting is a great means of expression. (And, of course, painting a room would just be so much fun.) Having the ability to haphazardly throw buckets of paint onto a wall would be so freeing for me. Then I could take the time and carefully paint a scene. No matter the final product, I know I would be satisfied with it. Plus, I feel as though painting would help me let loose a little. Getting some paint in my hair that won’t wash out might be the perfect thing for me. (I can be such a prima donna sometimes and refuse to jump in a swimming pool just because I prefer not being wet.) Then I would have to cut my hair and hope for the best, pushing me to be more relaxed about how I look all the time. Furthermore, painting a room is something I can do tomorrow. It’s important that I believe in the value of something immediate as well as something that will occur possibly much later in life. I’m only seventeen and death is still something I can’t really grasp. The immediate occurrences are what matter most to me.
Once again, painting a room is a form of expression. Art is often sorely underrated by people. If I wanted to be an artist I have no doubt that my parents would do everything they could to stomp the idea out of me. Being an artist isn’t practical. Yet art is the core of the culture—the core of human expression and beliefs.
4) Letting go of fear is my next hope. By fear I don’t mean fear of a specific item or idea. I really mean fear in the general sense. If anything ever stood in the way of my success, it was always fear. Whether it was my fear of letting others see my terrible writing skills or being considered annoying. I didn’t call a college to arrange an interview because I wasn’t sure what to say. These are all fears. I could achieve so much if I just let go of my fears.
With all of that said, fear is, just as death is, guaranteed. I really don’t believe that anyone can be afraid of nothing. What is not guaranteed, is dealing with the fear. People will suddenly feel more nervous when a Muslim is on the plane with them. Is this rational? No, but the fear is nevertheless there. Even after Muslim terrorists are no longer a threat, the fear will probably linger among Americans for quite some time. This irrational response hinders growth of the civilization and humanity is always progressing. So letting go of fears and working towards that goal allows the growth of society and our ability to be “humane.”
5) Although having children could be placed in the same category as experiencing love, this love is maternal and I was previously referring to sexual love. There is nothing more pleasing to me than having a baby smile at me. There is something so beautiful in that smile and I don’t know how to explain the beauty. Any mother could tell me that having their child was the best thing she did. I just hope that I can experience giving birth one day. This desire for children is probably mainly biological, but I’m perfectly content with the reason.
And the fact is, when a woman is pregnant, she is storing life. What an amazing feat. Humanity could never continue without new life and birth. I could go even as far to say that women are the solution to death for humans.
